In the eyes of the law, divorce is basically a legal process that severs the financial relationship between a husband and wife, except of course in divorces with minor children, which are about both money and children.  It is a family court judge’s role to review the financial facts presented in divorce by each spouse and make binding decisions regarding the values, characterization, division and distribution of assets and debts.  It is also a judge’s role to determine how financial matters will be handled post-divorce (e.g. whether a spouse will receive spousal support, alimony, maintenance, and/or child support payments).

Because the legal divorce process is so financially driven, judges, commissioners, child support agencies and spouses themselves, need detailed information about the parties’ assets, debts, income and expenses.  Bank and credit card statements, mortgages, promissory notes, and details about monthly expenses and income must be exchanged, and/or given to a judge so that divorce orders and judgments may be entered.

In most cases, gathering financial data required in a divorce or legal separation can be a major pain in the you know what, especially if you, like many of us, did not regularly organize and update your records. The great news is, however, that it is the perfect time for you to get your money matters in order! “Why?”, you ask? Because most banks, credit card companies and brokerage companies offer online, year-end financial statements that can be downloaded directly into your online financial planning system. And better yet, software and credit reporting companies are offering great deals on money management systems that can make your life easier!

For example, you can find great Deals on Quicken Products+ Free Shipping! Two of my clients have convinced me that this is the best way to keep on top of things during divorce, so I’m going to begin using the software for my own personal and professional needs. You can also download a succinct summary of your credit history using Fico Scores/Reports.

If you are on a strict budget (which is a great idea at the moment) you may want to try Free Quicken Online - Quicken Online can send you a text message with your account balances, use our free Money Matter tools, or visit your local library and see if they have any programs available for your use.

And, because it is best to live by example, I am going to download Quicken now and begin making part of my daily rituals.  Good luck! Update: I signed up for the Free Quicken online service for my personal accounts and have already started using it! Fingers crossed that it makes my 2009 money management goals much easier!

This article is not legal advice. You should consult an attorney if you have legal questions that relate to your specific divorce.

Last year’s words belong to last year’s language And next year’s words await another voice. And to make an end is to make a beginning -Eliot

May 2009 be filled with love, kindness and joy.  We look forward to helping you make this year your best year ever.

“Is Worrying About Your Bills and Debts Keeping You Awake Night After Night?”

January 7, 2009
3:00 - 4:00 Pacific/6:00-7:00 Eastern
Cost $29 Early Bird Registration by January 2
$39 after January 2

Class will be held on teleconference line to preserve your privacy (long distance charges apply)

Did you know that if you can pay all your bills on time, all you really have to do is change the way you pay your debts - using the money you already make!

Learn how to outsmart the credit card companies, get off the credit card debt roller coaster and create a new way of thinking and behaving about money that will change your life forever.

Step-by-Step Debt Elimination Plan available from instructor. For more information contact Cindy Morus of Mend Your Money at 541-387-2995.  Cindy is a Certified Divorce Financial Analyst^TM, Certified Financial Recovery Counselor, Certified Credit Report Reviewer, Certified Retirement Counselor, Licensed Tax Preparer and Money Minding Financial Advisor.

If you’re still married and working toward a divorce settlement or judgment, now is the perfect time to consider the impact taxes could have on the final outcome of your case. If you don’t understand the potential tax implications associated with the division of your assets, debts and support payments, you could end up owing the IRS a lot of money. Take steps to avoid this problem by asking your lawyer and tax accountant all of the questions (and more) found in our Talking Taxes Questionnaire or in Tax Lawyer Kelly Phillips Erb’s article Tax and the Single Girl: Seven Things you Need to Know.

Alternatively, if you are separated and no where near a divorce settlement, speak with your lawyer and tax adviser about how you and your spouse will handle tax deductions for 2008.

This article is not legal or financial advice. You should seek the advice of a lawyer and tax accountant about your specific divorce and tax issues.

And the day came when the risk it took to remain tight in the bud was greater than the risk it took to blossom. ~Anias Nin

These are things people actually said in court, word for word, taken down and now published by court reporters.

ATTORNEY: Now doctor, isn’t it true that when a person dies in his sleep, he doesn’t know about it until the next morning?
WITNESS: Did you actually pass the bar exam?

**************************************

ATTORNEY: Are you sexually active?
WITNESS: No, I just lie there.

**************************************

ATTORNEY: So the date of conception (of the baby) was August 8th?
WITNESS: Yes.
ATTORNEY: And what were you doing at that time?
WITNESS: getting laid

**************************************

ATTORNEY: Doctor, before you performed the autopsy, did you check for a pulse?
WITNESS: No.
ATTORNEY: Did you check for blood pressure?
WITNESS: No.
ATTORNEY: Did you check for breathing?
WITNESS: No.
ATTORNEY: So, then it is possible that the patient was alive when you began the autopsy?
WITNESS: No.
ATTORNEY: How can you be so sure, Doctor?
WITNESS: Because his brain was sitting on my desk in a jar.
ATTORNEY: I see, but could the patient have still been alive, nevertheless?
WITNESS: Yes, it is possible that he could have been alive and practicing law.

Happy Friday!!

*Source: Disorder in the American Courts

Whether you are thinking about going cross country or to another country, if you have children and you’re in the midst of a divorce or legal separation, speak with a child custody attorney before packing your bags. Ask the attorney if you can legally take your children away for Christmas without your husband’s consent or whether you must get the court’s permission before doing so. If you take off with the children in violation of a court order, you could end up in big trouble! Don’t take any chances. Get your trip pre-approved by your Family Court judge or by written agreement with your spouse (ex-spouse) that details your travels.

This is not legal advice. You should consult an attorney if you have legal questions that relate to your specific divorce.

Holidays can be stressful for the most perfect traditional families. So it isn’t any surprise that tempers flare and custodial battles are sparked in the homes of divorcing and divorced couples at Christmas. That said, there are many tips and tricks that parents can use to avoid seasonal blowups and keep a festive feeling in the air.

According to clinical psychologist Dr. Ruth A. Peters, kids will benefit if their parents follow these recommendations:

• “Keep it civil - If there is animosity between ex-spouses, give the kids a break for the holidays (if not forever) and be civil. If relations don’t see eye-to-eye, fake it for the kids — you don’t need to bring up the skeletons in the closet or air the dirty laundry one more time.”
• “Consider and coordinate the gift-giving — cooperation is key - Try to keep it equal if possible. Remember, the holidays are about family, love and some presents — it shouldn’t be a materialistic free-for-all.”
• “Be accommodating with your schedules - Try to be flexible if it really doesn’t harm your own holiday plans, and if the kids voice a desire to visit with both sides of the family.”
• “Follow the rules - Respect the rules and your ex’s time alone with the children. Your time with the kids is your own, and their time with the ex is equally private.”
• “Respect the other parent’s religious practices - If possible, try to take into account your ex’s religious preference, especially if it is different than yours.”
• “Begin your own holiday traditions - Make it different, fun and memorable.”*

Now I know what you’re thinking, but remember, you’re doing these things for your children and their happiness is worth it.

Despite what they say, the holidays are almost never the season of unmitigated jolliness. For almost all adults, in fact, holidays are seasoned with a goodly dose of sadness, nostalgia, and a yearning for the lost joys and innocence of holidays past.

For divorced families, in particular, the holidays represent a time when the loss of family togetherness is brought home by the memories of earlier times (perhaps more glowing in memory than they were in life) and grief at the loss of shared Thanksgiving turkeys, or the opening of gifts, or the annual trek to the grandparent’s house for a gathering of extended family and friends.

Children, particularly, can have mixed emotions Read the rest of this entry »